What Matters

Lately I have been pretty hard on myself. Actually I am always hard on myself. I expect a lot out of myself and sometimes, many times, I fall short. 

I want to finish my education, I am so close to being done that it hurts, but with a baby now things have slowed down. I have not quit, I wont ever quit but they have slowed down for sure. 

I want to have a perfectly clean house, I want everything to be beautiful and perfect. Don't get me wrong, my house is clean, but not always spotless.

I want to teach Cam to be bilingual, I want to always look good and have dinner on the table when Brynt gets home from work, I want to work out every day, I want to read a new book every week, I want, I want, I want.....

Today I took Camberlyn for a walk to the park and sitting there  listening to the birds, smelling the sweet spring air, and looking at my sweet baby's face I realized that all the things I want are good, they are great goals, but they aren't what matters.

  

This Matters~

 

And this Matters~

 

And I have them both, they mean more to me than words can ever express. Maybe I don't accomplish everything I want to each day, I am far from being what I want to be, but those things are trivial compared with what I already have. I have the love of a man who is good and kind, who treats me like his queen and loves our daughter like crazy. I have a sweet baby girl who has changed my whole life and made me realize that love is much bigger and more powerful than I ever thought. The other things that I want will come in due time...or they wont. That's ok, because I already have

 What Matters.

Trapped

I am sitting here on my couch with my sweet baby laying across my knees where I gently bounced her to sleep. I know that if I move her she will wake up and then be grumpy because she really needs this nap.
It kind of blows my mind how all powerful this child is. Sure she can't walk, talk, eat solids or control her bowels, but there is no doubt about it, Camberlyn runs the show around here.
The sad thing is, I really really need to pee. Oh so bad. But I will hold it because the reason she is in charge is because I love her, and I will do anything to make her little life better :)

Camberlyn's Blessing

I do realize that I am about a month late writing this but what can I say, I have a very sweet two month old who takes up most of my time.
In March Brynt and I took Camberlyn to Arizona for her baby blessing, Super exciting! We started our trip Thursday evening after Brynt got off work, which has become our normal time to travel since we don't want to miss a second that we could be spending with family on the road. Traveling 13 hours with an 8 week old baby was not super fun, but it went better than I had expected and was actually much better than traveling 13 hours when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, that was just plain awful.
 I cannot explain how wonderful it was to see Camberlyn meet all of her family. I loved it. When you live far from family you really learn how important it is to soak up those special moments.My sweet mom had a get together for her so that a bunch of family and friends would be able to meet her. Camberlyn was able to meet Grandparents, Great Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and people who may not be blood relations, but whom I will always consider them family. It was so special and I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people I have in my life.

Camberlyn With Sunny

Grandma Kerry and Cousin Kaden

Camberlyn and Chevelle

Grandpa Terry with his two new girls

Great Grandma May

Great Grandma Kruger

Great Aunt Lisa and Great Grandma Watson

Uncle Ian

Great Grandad and Grandma Watson

Sunday was the day of her baby blessing.We did it in Brynt's home ward which was neat and to add to the specialness, Camberlyn's cousin, Chevelle, who was born 6 days before her was blessed on the same day.  As I listened to Brynt as he blessed Camberlyn, I couldn't help but be over whelmed with gratitude.  I have been blessed with a Happy, Healthy, Beautiful little girl who has made my life more full of joy than I thought was possible. It was a very special moment for me.

,

Camberlyn in her blessing dress

Thanks to a snow storm we were able to stay an extra day, which was awesome, but still there is never enough time. It was a wonderful trip, and now more than ever I know that this little girl is truly loved by so many people, its incredible.

One Month Old!

Camberlyn is one month old, I am having such a hard time believing this! She's such a blessing, sometimes I am blown away at how much love I have for her and how happy she has made my life. Here is a list of things that I love most about Cam...

~ She makes the funniest faces, especially when she is waking up. I had no idea that one person could have so many facial expressions, but she has a ton!

~ She giggles in her sleep. This has to be the cutest thing ever. It usually starts out as a smile and then gets bigger till she giggles, I love it so much.

~ Camberlyn loves to take baths. Not only dose it make bath time so much easier, its so fun to see her wiggle her toes and relax in the water.

~ Her "talking". Camberlyn has learned how to make happy little squeaking noises that can make anyone smile, its so adorable! She usually does it most in the morning, which is a great way to start my day.

~ Camberlyn is a baby dinosaur. I should explain this one; when Cam is hungry, she makes this noise that sounds like the baby  velociraptors on Jurassic Park, It cracks me up every time.

~Everything is new in her eyes. There is something absolutely wonderful about watching Camberlyn see world for the first time. I love seeing her face as she takes in all the sights and sounds around her, its so refreshing.


Honestly I could go on and on about the things I love about Camberlyn. But most of all I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me and Brynt with this sweet little girl. She makes everyday better and every experience a little sweeter.

Tiny but Mighty

Camberlyn is 3 weeks old today, I can't believe it! She is so fun and wonderful, we are loving all the changes we see in  her each day. We tell her that she is tiny but mighty; at three weeks old she has grown a lot, gained a whole pound and grown 3 inches, but she is still just barely fitting into her newborn clothes so she is still tiny. that being said, she has started holding her head up really well ( the doctor said she is doing incredibly well for her age), if you hold her up she will use her legs to stand, and as of yesterday she has learned how to make happy little squeaky noises when she is playing. She has been able to smile since the day she was born and on a couple occasions we have caught her giggling. Tiny but Mighty :)

Every day with her is a blessing, she gives us perspective on what life is about, and what a gift living is.

Camberlyn Elizabeth Barney, here at last

She is finally here! On February 1st, 2012 at 11:49am Camberlyn Elizabeth Barney entered the world.

A few days before I had begun to think that she would never get here, which I think is probably normal when you reach the end of pregnancy, but it was hard to believe she was ever coming. On Tuesday the 31st I had reached my official due date and I was ready to be done with pregnancy and see my baby, and so I started walking. I walked up and down the stairs, all around the house, my mom and I walked down to the park and did a few laps, then came home and started again. By mid afternoon I was starting to get pretty regular Braxton Hicks contractions which just fueled the fire, so made sure to keep walking, standing, swaying....pretty much anything but sitting.
When Brynt got home from work, things were looking pretty good, my contractions were 6 mins apart and right on the boarder between very uncomfortable and painful. My mom suggested that we go out to dinner since it may be the last one we get alone for quite awhile. In the car we were trying to decide where would be good to eat, and then I got a really painful contraction (well at the time I thought it was painful). Brynt said jokingly, "should we get fast food?" , to which I replied " Well I think a long sit down dinner is out of the question". We ended up going to a cute little sandwich shop called Gator Jack's. The food was great, but contractions made it a little bit hard to enjoy.
When we got home we started the longest waiting game of my life. I labored at home till around 2am and then we headed up to the hospital because the contractions where getting very strong and were about 4mins apart. They checked me and said I was at about 3cm, so my options were to stay there and walk to see if I could make some progress or go home and labor there for a while longer... I chose home.The next couple of hours were long and hard, I took a nice bath and that helped a ton. at around 5am I felt like if I stayed home any longer, I might not be able to get up and go to the hospital, so once again we all got in the car and headed to Labor and Delivery. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that we literally live a block and a half from the hospital, that was miserable car ride and I am so glad it was over quickly. 
When they checked me the second time I was at 5cm and they said that was good enough to admit me. Now to be completely honest the next 6 or so hours were a blur. I had decided at the beginning of my pregnancy that I didn't want any medication ( unless it was needed), so I got to feel all the pains of labor. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but that being said, I am very glad I chose that rout and if I had it to do over again I would still choose to go un-medicated. I am so grateful for my awesome husband who held my hand the whole time, reminded me to breath through the contractions and told me over and over that I could do it. I am also thankful that my mom was there the whole time, no matter how old you get, it always makes things easier when your mom is there to support you. My midwives were awesome, one of them was always there with making sure I and the baby were ok, and making sure I knew all of the different options I had (including sitting in the jacuzzi tub, which help IMMENSELY).
Like I said before, it was all kind of a blur, and I don't remember specific details until it came to the baby's delivery. That is an incredible feeling, one moment I was so tiered I honestly thought that I had nothing left and couldn't possibly go on, and the next I was holding my sweet baby girl and Brynt and I were crying with joy. All the pain was completely gone and replaced with an overwhelming sense of elation and excitement, I  have never felt anything like it in my life.
We had to stay an extra day at the hospital because Camberlyn had a high bilirubin count, but with the help of the "baby tanning booth" it went down and we were able take her home on Friday night.
Its been a week since she was born and I can't believe how much joy
she has brought to us already. Brynt can't get enough of her, the second he gets home he picks her up and has her with him where ever he goes. My mom has been soaking up every moment of being a Grandma, she loves this little girl. Aunt Baylee is over all the time so she can play with "Cambee". Camberlyn also gets to Skype with her family that is far away, we are so grateful for modern technology, it makes long distances a little easier.
As for me, I love being a mom, my heart is so full, I feel incredibly blessed and I am so looking forward to all of the adventures this amazing little person will bring into our lives.

The final days

So this morning I leaned over to Brynt and said "this time next month we will be parents". I am just about 38 weeks now so we have reached the final count down, She will be here soon!

There were some ups and downs during week 36 (I blame my crazy pregnancy hormones for it). I started having mini panic attacks, freaking out that things wouldn't get done, that I wont be able to keep up with school ( I am taking pathophysiology online this semester), that I don't know enough about having a new born.........the list goes on and on. After a few small melt downs, and lots of loving hugs from my sweet husband, I am now feeling much better.
Today I feel so blessed and excited, I know she will be here soon and I can't wait. I am so excited to see what she looks like, what she acts like, I want to hold and get to know who this little person is!

I know that things are going change greatly, and I can't wait. I can't wait to meet my little Camberlyn!